Oh, Brother!
by Dr. Doitsu
Summary: Hetalia AU where everyone but Belarus is obsessed with their older brothers. Series of one shots, Lots of Incest. Human names used and no actual story line. If you want a particular pair of siblings, just leave a review saying which. Or leave a review anyway. Reviews are nice. :3
1. Germany and Prussia

**Hetalia AU where everyone except for Belarus is obsessed with marrying their older brothers.**

**I might not write all of these bc i'm a lazy little shit and some characters are hard for me to write.**

**Germany and Prussia [done]**

**France. Just France. [done]**

**North Italy and Romano**

**America and England**

**Belarus and Russia**

**Canada and France**

**Iceland and Norway [done]**

**Canada and America [done]**

**Spain and Portugal [done]**

**Liechtenstein and Switzerland**

**Seborga and Romano**

**North Italy, Seborga and Romano [done]**

**Belgium and Netherlands [done]**

**Just say which ones you want next in the reviews, or if I forgot one, feel free to suggest it :3**

* * *

Ludwig stood with the rest of the Axis, glancing up from his clipboard occasionally to ask for his team members' opinions on their attack plans. Gilbert walked into the garden with a beer, and Germany dropped the clipboard that he had been holding in order to stare at his older brother. "...Gilbert, I thought you were going to be with Austria today..." the blond said as he looked at the albino, his heart beating several times faster than normal.

He watched as Gilbert shook his head, biting his bottom lip as his cheeks reddened. "O-Oh, so you're here today..?" He asked, moving towards the Prussian as he dismissed his friends, telling them that training was over.

Gilbert looked across at the two departing nations, wishing that he hadn't decided to come out here for some fresh air. West was Nuts! This infatuation had been one that he'd enjoyed for a while, especially since Ludwig had always insisted that the narcissistic Albino was awesome and did whatever Gilbert told him to, but as soon as Ludwig had started to bring up the subject of marriage, Gilbert decided that there really wasn't anything all that great about his younger brother's obsession with him. Prussia didn't notice that Ludwig was holding something in his hands until he saw his brother mumbling something quietly. Ludwig was trying to propose again, wasn't he? Heaving an annoyed sigh, Gilbert put his hands on top of Ludwig's, pushing the younger's shaking hands down as he shook his head. "Are you holding that ring again?" the older of the two asked, tilting his head to the side. His brother nodded, and Gilbert held his open palm out. "Give it here, West." He instructed, and Ludwig almost smiled, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes as he put it down in his older brother's hand. Prussia inspected it for a moment before pulling his arm back and throwing it, watching as the round piece of silver metal _zoomed_ through the air and landed out of sight in one of the neighbouring countries' garden. Gilbert stretched and scratched the back of his neck, going back inside and ignoring his stunned brother. He made his way downstairs and locked the basement door behind him. Couldn't have West getting in. Things could get messy.

Gilbert flopped onto his bed and sighed. "Ja, My little brother is nuts." He muttered to himself, flicking through a magazine and sipping his beer. He fell asleep a few hours later, and as a result didn't notice his younger brother shoot the lock and enter the room until it was too late and Ludwig had entered the room, the gunshot waking Gilbert only after Germany was inside. Groaning, Prussia looked up at his younger brother and sighed again. "...I'll let you sleep in here if you agree to use your own bed tomorrow."

Ludwig's face went red and he shook his head quickly. "N-Nein...I don't come down here for that...I just...Uh..." The blond cleared his throat, looking away. "I-Ich Liebe Dich...G-Gilbert..." he admitted, or rather, he whispered it half hoping that his brother would hear and half hoping that he wouldn't.

The albino rolled his eyes and pointed a tired finger in Germany's direction. "Gilbirds, Attack." He muttered, and an army of the yellow birds flew up and violently escorted Ludwig out of the room.

"_Brothers." _Gilbert muttered, going back to sleep.


	2. Spain and Portugal

_For Leo_

**_Bc that Guy srsly likes Iberiancest and despite the general weirdness, he's pretty cool so meh._**

* * *

"Hermano~! I have tomatoes~!" Antonio called, a wide grin on his face as he head butted the door to his brother's house down and entered. "Come on, I picked these with _my special friend Romano._**Jealous~**?"The Spaniard asked, looking around for his older brother. "Portugal...? Are you home?" _Well of course he's home. Where else would he be? He doesn't have friends._

Antonio searched the entire house, soon finding his older brother in his bedroom, reading. The younger brunet looked disappointed. He should have been easily heard from the front door, how come his brother hadn't answered? "Porty...?" Antonio asked, sitting on the bed with a wide smile, poking his brother's shoulder. When it became more and more apparent that the older was ignoring him on purpose, Spain's poking turned to rough prodding and eventually, a strong yank on his brother's pony tail.

"Porty~!" Antonio sang, a wide smile still on his face.

The Portuguese man glared at his younger brother, narrowing his eyes at him and pulling his head away to avoid another pull on his pony tail. What the hell was wrong with his brother, anyway?! You'd think that with all the time he spent around fruit that he wouldn't be a total brain dead vegetable. It was surprising that the tomatoes hadn't shunned him already. Groaning, he narrowed his eyes at Spain, Still fairly pissed. They went through this same routine every day. Every damn day! Antonio would come in the morning announcing that he'd brought a gift of tomatoes (Or if the older man was lucky, A bottle of Port) and after trying to make his brother envious by mentioning Romano, would then proceed to knock the door down and then the harassment would begin. He'd look around for a while before finally finding the older Iberian and then would annoy him until Portugal was forced to answer him just to get it over and done with. Portugal sighed. If they'd gone through that part of their daily routine already then that meant that only one thing could me next. A proposal which would usually be followed by an attempt at seduction. However, Instead of a ring, Antonio pushed the basket of tomatoes towards his older brother. Portugal raised an eyebrow. This was a strange change of their daily schedule, but mixing things up was always a nice thing to try. The older brother took the basket unsurely, putting his book on the bedside table and taking a tomato out of the basket with an annoyed scowl. He could have sworn that he'd seen something at the bottom of the basket, and Portugal began to dig around until he found a ring concealed at the bottom. "...You can't be serious." The older brunet grunted, picking the ring up between his index finger and thumb and examining it with a frown before looking up at his younger brother. There was a hopeful smile plastered all over that idiot's face. So he was serious. Of course he was.

"Look, Antonio, As much as I appreciate y-your..." He bit the inside of his cheek in thought. "...'feelings' towards me, I don't think that we should get married. We've been unified before and look how that worked out. So I'm sorry b-but-" he was cut off by his brother's lips against his own, And Portugal could soon feel the younger's hand trailing up and down his stomach, slowly dropping towards 'the forbidden zone'

Ok. That was enough. Portugal pushed his brother away and stood up, getting off of the bed and looking down at Spain. "What the hell will it take to make you stop?!"

"Ma-" Spain began.

"I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU!" Portugal insisted, not even giving his little brother a chance to finish his request. Yes, Antonio was attractive, Portugal had to admit that, but that didn't mean that he wanted to pursue a relationship with the Spaniard. The older male tugged at his hair while he paced around the room, finding some comfort in his own brown locks. He knew that arguing was pointless, and as he wiped his lips on his sleeve grumpily to rid himself of the last of his brother's saliva, the basket of tomatoes caught his eye. Picking one up, he tossed one out of the window, watching with relief as Antonio jumped out to follow it.

"Brothers." The Portuguese nation muttered, sitting on the bed and going back to his book.


	3. Iceland and Norway

Norway was sprawled out on the bed next to Denmark, the shivering Dane mumbling a sleepy complaint about the fact that the Norwegian had felt the need to wrap himself up in all of the bedding like some kind of overgrown hamster while Denmark was freezing his ass off.

This cute scene was watched by an Icelandic teen, his eyes growing wide when he saw **his** older brother sharing a bed with Denmark.

Without a second thought, The Dane was pushed out of the bed by Norway's rather jealous little brother, Denmark's spot on the bed being quickly taken by Iceland instead.

"Big brother." He whispered, hugging the Norwiegan...well, cocoon is really the only way to describe him right now. Softly stroking his caterpillar-like older brother, Iceland sighed and looked down at Denmark. Why did that damn Dane have to get in the way all the time?! Couldn't that spiky haired imbecile tell that he was destroying the true love between Norway and Iceland?! The youngest Nordic glanced at his big brother, hugging him tightly. Oh, how he longed for the day that Norway would admit to his feeling and propose to him~

Yes. That would be nice.

His older brother stirred, and Iceland watched him with a small smile. Perhaps after Iceland got rid of a certain Dane that was disrupting the undying love between him and his brother, Norway would stop denying his feelings towards the younger Nation and maybe even get that Restraining order lifted.

He looked down at Mr. Puffin. "You know what to do, bird." He said, nodding in the direction of Denmark. "You know what to do."


	4. Romano, Seborga and Veneziano

Romano looked around. No brothers to the left of him. No brothers to the right of him. No brothers in front of him. The coast was clear. Quickly, the oldest of the three Italian brothers entered the house that he shared with his two younger brothers, much to his dismay. Luckily, he found the house to be empty, and took advantage of the situation by doing what every sensible person would do; removing his clothes and taking a _siesta_. An hour of blissful napping passed, and when he awoke, he noticed that while he was still naked, he was no longer alone. He sat up, groaning and narrowing his eyes at the intruder, who was none other than his irritating younger brother Seborga. A clever man would have exited the bed without waking the other and made his escape. Sadly, Romano was not a clever man.

The older brunet hit the younger to awake him, grabbing Seborga's arms and pushing him away. "What the hell?! Get off! Why don't you go bother Veneziano?!" Lovino demanded, shoving the micronation off of the bed and glaring at him. Seborga sat up, looking up at his older brother before smiling and winking at him. "Ciao, I just wanted to watch you sleep but then I fell asleep too~!" He explained, his tone of voice anything but apologetic. While he spoke, Seborga's hand travelled under the covers, soon finding and stroking the southern Italian's leg. "You have such smooth legs, Fratello. You should come swimming with me sometime, you'd look great in swim shorts!..._Or maybe a thong..."_

That was enough. Romano got up and left as quickly as he could, grabbing his clothes and starting to dress himself once he reached the kitchen. He was interrupted by Feliciano's hands on the waist of his jeans, preventing him from pulling them past his knees. The younger of the two looked up at him, an innocent smile on his face that had nothing in common with Lovino's current horrified expression. "Feli...what are you...you're supposed to be with your potato friend, right?!"

The more cheery brunet pouted, looking down. "Luddy is in the hospital, he broke a few bones and was dropped off of a 6 storey building after being attacked by birds for some reason. I saw Mr. Denmark there too! Bird related injuries seem to be really popular lately! And Luddy being in a comatose state just means that I have more time to spend with you~!" Feliciano giggled, emitting a few quiet, happy 've's. Lovino frowned at him, pulling his trousers up. "Good for you, now leave me alone." He answered, attempting to finish dressing himself.

Feliciano watched as he left the room, biting his bottom lip and following. "Fratello! Wait! Nonno said that you have to take care of me! You can't leave me alone in the kitchen...I might burn myself, or cut something off!" He protested, tugging at the back of Romano's shirt. The older narrowed his eyes at him. "I swear, if you don't leave me alone then _I'll_ cut something off! And I will do it with a rusty blade!"

"...But Roma-"

"**RUSTY BLADE!"** The Older brother yelled, marching upstairs.

That left Feliciano alone, though not for long seeing as Seborga was quick to join him in the kitchen. The teenager tapped his foot on the ground, a hand on his hip. "Hopefully he won't be so grumpy when he's married to me." He commented, smiling.

The Northern Italian raised an eyebrow. "...Romano is going to marry _me_." He insisted, looking at Seborga with a determined expression.

"No, _me!"_

"**Me!**"

"**_ME!_**"

"**I AM NOT GOING TO MARRY EITHER OF YOU!**" Romano yelled from upstairs, hitting his head against the wall. Why was he cursed with two obsessive younger brothers who were hell bent on marrying him?!

"_Oh, Brothers!"_


	5. Belgium and Netherlands

Belgium looked up at her big brother, her signature cat-like smile on her face as she held up a plate of Belgian waffles. "Hey~ do you want some waffles~?" She offered. Netherlands looked down at her and nodded in reply, taking one of the snacks and biting into it. His younger sister smiled. Little did the spiky haired man know, thOSE WAFFLES WERE DRUGGED.

"This tastes like weed. Another." The Dutchman said, taking another one of the waffles and leaving.

Belgium stared at him, green eyes wide. "W-what..?"

That wasn't what was supposed to happen at all! He was supposed to get high and agree to marry her...!

With a huff, she ran over to him and hugged him, taking the man's pipe from his pocket and putting some more of the drug into the pipe before putting it back. When the Netherlands decided to smoke, he pulled it out of his pocket and raised an eyebrow as some weed fell out. With a shrug, he put some more of the drug in and walked away, smoking to his heart's content.

Belgium shook her head, sitting down with a frown. "He's never going to marry me at this rate." She complained, tapping a finger on her cheek in thought.

Romano ran past, sweating and hiding behind her. "You have to hide me! My brothers want to marry me!" He whispered I'm fright, not even using any swear words to describe his situation. He was with a lady, after all.

Next, Spain ran over to them. "Portugal won't marry me!" Antonio cried. "He said he'd rather marry and sleep with a turtle! That's bestiality! That's disgusting!"

"I disagree." Said Germany, hobbling past with the aid of crutches.

"...I agree with Germany." Denmark said, rubbing the back of his neck with a grin

Eye twitching, Belgium stood up. "EVERYBODY OUT! SEE THE TITLE?! It's 'BELGIUM AND NETHERLANDS', not 'Spain, Romano, Denmark and Germany' interrupt! Everybody out!" She yelled, pushing them out of the way and sitting down again. What a cruel world. "Ned!" She called, getting up and running of in search of her brother.

The Netherlands was sat on a bench, rubbing his forehead and sighing.

"Oh, Brother~!" Came the voice of his sister that could be heard in the distance.

**I apologise for not getting to the AmeCan or USUK, I just need to do some more thinking about those chapters before I can write them. I will, but not yet. **


	6. France:big brother of Europe

Francis looked around his front lawn, a small pout on his rosy French lips as he waited for the thing that had been bothering oh so many other Nations lately: Younger siblings. The tales of being chased, hunted down, assaulted and bribed in the hopes of it resulting in marriage had been a popular topic amongst all Countries that also served as the older brother to one or more people. Although to most the idea of someone being madly in love with you and desperate for your hand in marriage despite a restraining order would most likely be a source of irritation, Francis truly adored the idea. However unfortunately for him, none of _his_ younger siblings seemed too bothered with repeatedly proposing to him. How was it that France, the big brother of Europe, had absolutely nobody that wanted to wed him?!

"They'll be here soon…" The blond assured himself with a huff. "Soon.."

* * *

**Short update today because I know I don't have the attention span to write anything longer right now ^^'**


	7. Canada and America

"Hey, Mattie?" Alfred asked, not looking up from his controller to face the other North American. "What's our relationship?"

"What d'you mean, eh?" Canada asked, turning his head to look at him, a confused eyebrow raised.

Sighing, Alfred returned his gaze. "Well like, are we brothers?"

"I assume so..." Matthew answered quietly. "Why are you asking?"

Focussing on the video game they were playing, Alfred shrugged "Everyone else is obsessed with marrying their older brothers, but you aren't."

There was silence for a few moments and Canada nodded. "W-We could be twins we have the same face...or cousins...I  
guess I never really uh thought a-about it, heh...why does it bother you, anyway eh?"

Alfred shrugged again, grinning. "It's nothing to worry about, bro! Just distracting you so that I can win!" The American laughed loudly, throwing his arms in the air victoriously.

"Y-You hoser!" Matthew yelled, looking at his dead character on the screen.

Once Canada was back at his own house, he sighed and slunk down to the ground, sitting on the floor and pulling a ring out if his pocket. "I didn't have the c-courage to ask him..." He mumbled to himself, burying his face in his bear.  
Sniffing loudly, he stood up. "I-I'm going to do it!" The Canadian declared, throwing the door open and whistling for a moose. The moose can and Matthew rode that majestic beast across the border. "Alfred!" He yelled at the American, waving an arm. Unfortunately, Canada was then hit by a taxi.

A few weeks in hospital later, Matthew looked over at the door as it opened. America walked into the ward with flowers and a snickers bar. "Hey! Mattie! Get well soon, sorry about the taxi."

Seeing his chance, Canada coughed. "A-Al... I'm dying..." He lied quietly. "C-could I maybe..become the 51st state? M-Maybe if I was then I could live..."

"Uh...w-wouldn't that involve some kind of bonding to link us? Like voodoo?" Alfred asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No, Idiot! Marry me!" Canada yelled before clearing his throat. "I-I mean...marriage...it's ...t-the only way..."

With a small frown, America looked around. "Um..."

"I could die...marry me..."

"U-Uh...sure..." America laughed unsurely.

At that exact moment, a doctor came in. "Mr. Williams, your bones have healed! You're free to go now!" She announced before leaving. America hugged the other man with a grin. "Woohoo! You're ok and we don't have to get married! Yeah!"

"Lucky me..." Canada replied, frowning.

**Hi, uh for the guest who asked, Germany disagreeing with Spain about intercourse with Turtles was a bestiality joke. And yes, I do know that it's currently illegal in Germany. **


End file.
